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The Problem With Social Approval

Seeking social approval can present several potential problems…

  1. Lack of Authenticity:
    When individuals excessively seek social approval, they may prioritize fitting in or gaining acceptance over expressing their true selves. This can lead to a loss of authenticity as they conform to societal expectations or compromise their own values and beliefs.
  2. Self-Esteem Dependency:
    Relying on social approval for self-esteem can be risky, as it places one’s self-worth in the hands of others. When approval is withheld or negative feedback is received, it can have a detrimental impact on self-esteem, leading to feelings of inadequacy and insecurity.
  3. Anxiety and Stress:
    Constantly seeking social approval can create anxiety and stress. The fear of judgement or rejection can be emotionally draining, as individuals may constantly worry about how others perceive them. This anxiety can hinder personal growth, decision-making, and the pursuit of one’s own goals.
  4. Shallow Relationships:
    Seeking approval at any cost can lead to shallow and superficial relationships. When the primary focus is on pleasing others or gaining acceptance, individuals may prioritize quantity over quality in their relationships, leading to a lack of genuine connections and meaningful interactions.
  5. Limited Self-Expression:
    Seeking social approval can restrict self-expression and creativity. When individuals constantly seek validation, they may hesitate to express unique ideas, opinions, or creative endeavours out of fear of disapproval. This can stifle personal growth, innovation, and the development of individual talents.
  6. Inauthentic Social Networks:
    Seeking social approval may result in surrounding oneself with people who are not genuinely supportive or aligned with one’s true self. This can lead to a sense of disconnection and dissatisfaction, as the need for approval may override the importance of establishing authentic connections with like-minded individuals.

While seeking some degree of social approval is natural and necessary for social cohesion, an excessive reliance on it can undermine personal well-being and hinder personal growth. Striking a balance between seeking social approval and maintaining authenticity is crucial for cultivating healthy self-esteem, fulfilling relationships, and individual happiness. As someone once said…

“Better to be disliked for what one is, than liked for what one is not.”

Both the education system and social media contribute to fostering a culture of seeking social approval. Here’s how they can play a role…

  1. Education System:
    Traditional education systems often emphasize conformity and reward students for meeting predetermined standards and expectations. Students may feel pressured to seek approval from teachers, parents, and peers by achieving high grades, adhering to norms, and fitting into predefined social hierarchies. This can create a competitive environment where individuality and diverse perspectives are undervalued, reinforcing the importance of seeking validation from others.
  2. Social Media:
    Social media platforms have become prevalent in modern society and can significantly influence individuals’ behaviour and self-perception. People often curate their online presence to gain approval through likes, comments, and follower counts. The constant exposure to carefully crafted images and lifestyles of others can create a sense of comparison and the desire to conform to prevailing trends or ideals. Seeking social approval on social media can become a primary motivation, potentially leading to a distorted perception of self-worth tied to online validation.

Both the education system and social media perpetuate the need for external validation and conforming to societal norms.
Recognizing these influences is crucial for individuals to navigate these systems consciously, maintain their authenticity, and prioritize their well-being over external validation. Developing self-awareness, cultivating resilience, and fostering a healthy relationship with others can help individuals navigate the education system and social media in a way that aligns with their personal values and aspirations.

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